


Wonderland Revisited

by flickerthenflare



Series: Inappropriate Serenades [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: Early Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Relationship Advice, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-11 09:07:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10461150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flickerthenflare/pseuds/flickerthenflare
Summary: Kurt and Blaine’s relationship progresses, but the romantic mood threatens to be undermined by an inappropriate song that won’t get out of Blaine’s head.This fic is meant to stand on its own, but it came out of a comment from AncientGleek in “14 Seasonally Inappropriate Serenades.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to AncientGleek for the idea that started this fic!

“John Mayer is musically stalking me,” Blaine complains over Skype to the only audience he expects to find both capable of being trusted with this knowledge and sympathetic. Blaine’s problem is the intersection of music and relationship advice, and there’s one person Blaine goes to for both. “That song is everywhere. It’s not even new and it’s everywhere.”

“Tell him you’re hapa and maybe his white supremacist dick will dick right off.” Wes barely glances up from his freshman philosophy textbook. Multitasking for Wes means acing classes at Ithaca and radiating brotherly disapproval simultaneously. Blaine doesn’t begrudge him for being busy with his new life, but it does make him pine for simpler days when they were both at Dalton and Wes’ full attention seemed to always be for him.

Blaine’s displeased huff comes out more like a whine. Blaine does not want to think about John Mayer’s dick when he’s trying to get closer to Kurt’s. Not at all. “I don’t think he’s into guys either, and yet he persists.”

“What were you doing to invite a John Mayer song into your life, Blaine?” Wes asks like Blaine and the song are having some frowned upon tryst. Wes looks up long enough to make sure Blaine knows he cares about his silly problems.

“I sang it to Kurt _once_. I _accidentally_ sang it to Kurt once.”

Wes’ smirk gives away his bemusement. “Whoops, I slipped and a serenade came out?”

“I was just singing along with the radio! It’s catchy and I didn’t know he was there. And now it comes back at the most inopportune moments.” Blaine blushes. He and Kurt are just now getting into experiences where it’s simultaneously fitting and inappropriate to have lines like “discover me discovering you” in the back of Blaine’s mind. At least Kurt hasn’t noticed Blaine fighting back humming the tune. Yet.

“Ah, so this is a situation-specific earworm. Is Kurt’s body a wonderland?”

Blaine groans. “Shut up.”

“That’s the song, right?”

“Yes, that’s the song. As you can imagine, it’s not the vibe I’m going for on dates with Kurt. I didn’t mean to make it stick.” Blaine tries so hard to be a respectful boyfriend. Serenades directed at Kurt have largely been tasteful and none have been sung in states of partial undress (well, except the one that got Blaine banned from the Lima community pool, and Blaine still can’t decide to be proud or ashamed of how “no song and dance numbers” has since been added to the list of pool rules). Blaine would like to keep his serenades tasteful and clothed. “Your Body is a Wonderland” needs to leave him alone to increase his likelihood of success.

“Well, I’m sorry for your unusual predicament. Exorcising songs is not an area of expertise for me, but I can offer several alternatives if it gets stuck in your head. I’ll make you a mixtape,” Wes promises.

“And that works?”

“No guaranteed, naturally, but it won’t be the first problem solved by a good mixtape.”

***

At this point, intimacy for Blaine and Kurt is a tentative exploration that relies heavily on checking in and reassurances, and pausing to cool down, and blushing through giving encouragement on what the other should keep doing. Kurt sinks into Blaine’s comforter like he belongs there and guides where he’d like Blaine to be. They’ve lost all non-essential layers to a pile on Blaine’s floor. All that’s left is a little bit of proprietary and the two of them.

Blaine kisses along Kurt’s jaw and down to his neck as far as his skin is exposed. Kurt’s skin is as porcelain as the song Blaine doesn’t want to think about promises. The thought unwittingly brings several more lines from “Your Body is a Wonderland” to the front of Blaine’s mind.

“Shut the fuck up, John Mayer,” Blaine mutters against Kurt’s skin.

Thankfully, Kurt seems to be past actually listening to Blaine as long as neck kisses are involved. He hums contentedly like Blaine’s words were terms of endearment before the hand stroking down Blaine’s back stills. “Wait, what?”

“Can we put music on? We should put music on.”

Blaine scrambles toward his computer before he gets a reply. He reaches its home on his desk without leaving his bed. He needs something to block John Mayer from further working his way into his love life. He’s going to fight this earworm. Blaine scrolls quickly through his library, wracking his memory for an album or playlist that’s sensual but not raunchy.

And then he remembers Wes’ mixtape, which is actually not a tape but a zipped folder sent over email a few days ago. Wes has named the mix “Anything Is Better Than John Mayer.” The files all come through unlabeled, but Blaine trusts Wes’ music tastes. No doubt Wes has a repertoire of appropriately sensual and loving background tracks for lovemaking. Blaine queues up the playlist and returns to where Kurt is on Blaine’s bed.

The song that starts is not instantly recognizable to Blaine, although somehow familiar, and it’s not what he would have chosen, but it definitely sets a mood.

On his hands and knees Blaine holds himself over Kurt’s once again and brushes their lips in a toe-curling slide. A firm hand on Blaine’s ass encourages him to settle fully on top of Kurt. Nimble fingers work at the front of Blaine’s pants.

Then Boys II Men belt “ _I’ll make love to you_ _!_ ” and Blaine freezes.

“Wrong song! Hold on!” Blaine doesn’t want to move but he has to fix this. “Just give me a moment.” He pushes himself back up in spite of the hold Kurt has on him and the displeased noise Kurt makes. Blaine skips to the next song on the playlist with the hope that it’s more subtle.

Blaine settles back in, not quite as close, although Kurt is quick to change that. They pick up where they left off with unhurried kisses and an even slower progression to removing Blaine’s jeans. Blaine is lulled into a false sense of security from a perfectly normal-sounding song that suddenly becomes obviously The Spice Girls’ “Two Become One”.

“Um. Uh. Not that either.” Blaine reluctantly pulls himself away once more to press the skip button before the pop group can croon any more clichés about making love to candlelight. His face heats up from embarrassment even worse than it does from being turned on. He has a weakness for The Spice Girls, much like the rest of his generation, so he can almost forgive Wes, but he can’t seriously listen to them right now.

After two duds, Blaine should know better than to trust the third. Blame hormones or faith in the good intentions of his old prep school mentor, but pressing skip turns out to be a less ideal solution than just turning it off, because “I Wanna Sex You Up” comes next.

Blaine shuts off his music and slams his computer shut, but not before tumbling of the bed entirely in his eagerness to do so as quickly as possible. He lands on the floor with a thud and a bruised ego.

“That is the last time I take Wes’ advice on romantic jams without prescreening them.” Blaine lays where he landed and waits for the mortification of this moment to pass. Kurt looks down and Blaine feels exposed in a way he hadn’t when pressed up against Kurt. A moment ago he was sexy, and now he’s just a mess.

“Are you in a fight?” Kurt asks with mock seriousness. His eyes twinkle. He holds out a hand for Blaine.

“Just with John Mayer.” And then the name of the mix clicks. “It’s a joke. He’s teasing me.”

“John Mayer?”

“Wes. I had, uh, ‘Your Body is a Wonderland’ stuck in my head and turned to Wes for help,” Blaine confesses.

Blaine expects disapproval. He gets a laugh instead.

“I’ve had ‘Getting to Know You’ stuck in my head for days. Your song choice is at least appropriately inappropriate.”

Blaine finds himself holding back a laugh too. Blaine’s mind went with John Mayer, and Kurt’s went with a musical from the 50s.

“Well, I guess it was weird to borrow sexy songs from a friend anyway.” Blaine says. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea, Kurt, I swear. I would _never._ ”

“Blaine. Do you think I’m mortified?”

Blaine squints at him. Kurt seems fine. Amused, even. “It’s just me, then? You didn’t care? Wait, were you… Were you going to take off my pants anyway? To the tackiest sex song I can think of?”

Kurt holds his gaze without a hint of shame. “Duh.”

Blaine can’t not kiss him for that.

“I’d do you to ‘Mambo Number 5,’ god, Blaine, I want you.”

A honest-to-goodness giggle bubbles up from Blaine’s chest. “I think we can do better than that.”

“Well, yes, of course we can. That’s not my point, but we _can_ make a playlist of songs that are actually sexy. Our definition of sexy. To, you know, have sexy times with.”

Blaine’s mind pushes out the repeating chorus of “Your Body is a Wonderland” to make room for all the images Kurt’s promise conjures. “Okay.”

Blaine moves to remove his computer from the time out he put it in. Kurt holds him back.

“That’s not what I want to do _right now_.” Kurt makes his point clear with the most insistent kiss so far this afternoon, with none of the tentativeness of before. Blaine parts his lips and rests his flailing arms on Kurt. “Work up some inspiration with me first?”

Blaine is in complete awe, and, for a moment, completely breathless. “ _Kurt._ You’re just…”

“A wonderland?” Kurt’s eyes twinkle. And then he goes back to what he was doing before the music so rudely interrupted.


End file.
